👨👦A Dream About My Deceased Father: What Was He Trying to Tell Me?
The Dream (shared by a reader):
“I dreamed that I was having dinner with my mother, then my deceased father came. He couldn’t help himself, so I held him to help him sit. Then he hugged me and kissed me twice on the lips. I brought him drinking water, but it was warm. He reached into his pockets to get some money and gave me some, asking me to go buy cigarettes. I told him he still had some — I saw them when he got the money. He replied it wouldn't be enough. I said I had a full packet, and we would share it. We both seemed happy. He had more grey hair than when he passed and was well-dressed.”
😔Emotional Core: A Message of Love and Reassurance
What does it mean when your deceased father visits you in a dream? The dream about a deceased father can mean that your father just wanted to remind you of himself and it is better to commemorate his memory by visiting the cemetery and maybe visiting a church. The dream may also symbolize your inner freedom, you have overcome the old dogmas and are ready to move on.
If you saw funeral and the deceased turned to be your father this dream has two meanings: if your father is still alive he will live a long life; if he is dead the dream just reminds you about the unforgettable influence he had on your life.
This dream feels less like a random neural firing and more like a quiet visit from someone deeply loved. The presence of the father, his affectionate gesture, and the peaceful mood all suggest this might be a “visitation dream” — a type of dream where the deceased appears to deliver comfort, closure, or simply reconnect.
The hug and kiss are especially symbolic. A kiss on the lips from a parent in a dream, particularly a deceased one, is often interpreted as a deep emotional exchange — a transfer of love, forgiveness, or spiritual reassurance.
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Symbol-by-Symbol Interpretation
Dinner with your mother: Domestic, familiar setting. Represents grounding, comfort, and support — especially maternal. The father arrives into a scene of family unity.
Father needing help: Could reflect how you remember him in later years — vulnerable but still deeply loved.
Kiss on the lips: An intimate gesture of deep connection, sometimes symbolic of forgiveness or emotional closure.
Warm water: A small discomfort in the dream — might symbolize an emotional area that still needs healing.
Money and cigarettes: Classic dream symbols. Cigarettes can stand for shared habits, memories, or mortality, and money often appears as a sign of emotional value or unfinished obligations.
Sharing a pack: A beautiful image of continued connection, cooperation, and shared legacy.
His gray hair and suit: He appears older — this may reflect your evolving memory of him. Being well-dressed is often seen as a positive sign of peace or dignity in the afterlife.
💡Psychological Insight
- From a modern psychological perspective, this dream could reflect:
- Grief that is evolving — moving from sorrow to a sense of peaceful coexistence with the memory.
- Internal dialogue — you may be working through emotions like responsibility, love, or even guilt.
- A need for reassurance — perhaps your father’s appearance was your own subconscious providing comfort during a difficult time.
👨💼What the Experts Say
Psychologist Carl Jung believed that dreams of the dead are not just memory replays, but encounters with deeper parts of ourselves — parts that still seek meaning, forgiveness, or reassurance.
“The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul.”
— C.G. Jung, Man and His Symbols (1964)
Grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt also notes that dreams of loved ones often act as a form of healing or continued attachment — especially when the dream ends with peace or joy.
Source: Center for Loss and Life Transition
And the Grief Dreams Research Project, a Canadian initiative, confirms that visitation dreams are extremely common and often bring comfort, not distress.
🍀Superstitions and Old Beliefs
🙏Faith & Cultural Notes
In Judaism, dreams of deceased loved ones may be considered messages from the soul, especially if the deceased looks peaceful or asks for something. (Talmud, Berakhot 55b)
In Christian and Muslim traditions, a dream in which the dead are happy or well-dressed can be seen as a sign they’re at peace, though it may also suggest the dreamer should offer a prayer or a charitable act in their memory.
Should You Do Anything After This Dream?
- Take comfort — your father didn’t just appear, he engaged warmly, even shared a moment of joy with you.
- Reflect: Is there something you're working through where you need your father’s guidance, or would have wanted his opinion?
- Light a candle, say a prayer, or share a memory with someone — these symbolic acts often help ease the emotions that dreams like this stir up.
You’re Not Alone — Let’s Talk
Have you had dreams about a loved one who passed? How did it make you feel?
Share in the comments or journal your dream — your story might resonate with someone who needs it today.
Sources & Further Reading
- Jung, C.G. Man and His Symbols, 1964
- Dr. Alan Wolfelt – Center for Loss & Life Transition
- Grief Dreams Research Project
- VeryWellMind – What It Means When You Dream About the Dead
- [Talmud, Berakhot 55b] (on dream symbolism)
Yana Friman
